shifted_ooc | "These deathmatches are simply fabulous!"

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*mod post

"These deathmatches are simply fabulous!"

It occurred to me that rather than trying to skilfully and deftly supply hints in the opening posts, I should do a stats-dump for the hosts of the events. As these two hosts probably won't be around for more than this plot, I shall put it here rather than adding them to the mod NPC list. So here are things your characters may or may not notice about the two weirdos sitting up in the Emperor's box playing Go Fish.

Incidentally, there wasn't going to be a 'gender' section, and then Kisha made a bad joke.

INDIVIDUAL STATS

» TITLE: The King
» AGE: He stopped ageing somewhere in his thirties
» GENDER: A Man's Man. The Man your Man could be.
» LANGUAGE: Something that a linguist might assume to be vaguely one of the Semetic languages, though of course the machine translates.
» BUILD: Really Rather Big. We're talking Rider-sized here, seven feet tall and with the muscle to back it up. HE CAN CRUSH CARS WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Or maybe not. But he looks like he could. 'Big'un' is probably the most apt description ever given to him. He could sell Old Spice, and that's what matters.
» EYES: Dark brown
» HAIR: Black, long and wispy, goes down to about his elbows. It's soft and pretty! I want to run my hands through his hair, and I'm just the sound of your thoughts turning symbolic representations of words into sounds then translated into meaning. Maybe the king can be in a L'Oréal commercial when he's done selling Old Spice.
» CLOTHING: Royal and combat-ready, though not armoured. Robes of black sable fur and gold threading, bound with a gold and black sash in his family’s traditional pattern, breeches, thick boots.
» JEWELLERY: Gold, gold, and more gold. Gold rings, gold bracelets, gold necklaces. And he tends to set his jewellery with fire opals, but the gold is what matters.
» WEAPONRY: An old sword with a jewelled pommel, kept openly at his side (all the better for an impromptu beheading), and a deck deck of Tarot cards in a gold case.
» DEMEANOUR: That callous, cold, self-assured arrogance of a born warrior king.

» TITLE: The Liar
» AGE: He stopped ageing somewhere in his late twenties
» GENDER: Faaaaaaabulous
» LANGUAGE: He'll speak the same language as the King by default, but if alone with someone else, he will generally speak whatever language they are using in whatever dialect is most prestigious in their place and time period. Except his Japanese. He always uses a Kyoto accent when speaking Japanese.
» BUILD: Acrobatic. He is meant for tricks of movement and not shows of strength.
» EYES: Green.
» HAIR: Blond, cut around his head. Touch it and you die.
» CLOTHING: Half of his clothing seems to have been stolen from Lord Byron, and the other half looks like it came with a complimentary sarcastic comment from Oscar Wilde. Possibly some of it was surreptitiously removed from the set of Granada's Sherlock Holmes. Black frock coat, black boots, assorted black hats, white shirt, white silk cravat. He covers up well; his neck his never visible and he is almost always wearing gloves, so for the most part, his face is the only skin he shows.
» JEWELLERY: Gold and lots of it. Gold rings, gold bracelets hidden under the sleeves of his shirt, a single gold earring (emergency supplies), and gold cufflinks for those awesome barrel cuffs. Or maybe it's barrel cuffs for the sake of having gold cufflinks.
» WEAPONRY: A black Russian revolver (which means seven bullets, so no punks will ever feel lucky when facing him) hidden away inside his jacket, and a deck of Tarot cards in a gold case.
» DEMEANOUR: Playful, theatrical, as hard to hold as a smooth glass pane, and always smiling.

SHARED STATS

» PSIONIC ABILITIES: Unbreakable telepathic shields for thoughts and emotions.
» COMPOSITION: Not what it looks or feels like. To break it down, their hair is made of string, their skin is made of clay, their blood is mercury, their bones are ivory, their hearts are stone, and their eyes are precious stones like pearl and emerald. This only becomes apparent when the material leaves their bodies. Spilled blood will be obviously mercury, a severed limb will be ivory and clay, and if you tear out one of their eyes, you'll have something to put in that engagement ring.
» MAGIC: Despite their fluent use of magic, there is no inherent magic in either of them. However, those with the sense for it could sense they have been influenced by a God.
» MACHINE CONNECTION: To those who can sense it, they are completely foreign to the Machine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

B'awwww.

Though the choice of pomegranates is something I find very interesting for the liar. Myths and all.

Oh, very good! You got it in one. Which myth did your instincts first go to, out of curiosity? I can think of a couple.

Why thank you, do I get a prize? Hades and Persephone with the pomegranate seeds. I loved that one as a kid.

I could sell you a pony? And yes, that's a big one. The liar has certainly made a bad contract and ended up trapped.

Edited 2010-07-18 08:07 (UTC)

I would have nowhere to put the pony but that would be awesome. I shall leave the pony in your care. Ooh, poor liar. I love how they act/react towards each other, always revolving and repelling but never quite moving fully away. Like they can't.

I shall care for the pony with my life. And hee, I am glad that comes across. It is one reason I enjoy writing their dialogue too much.

Yay! It really does, it's almost cute. I will be sad when the deathmatches are over and they are gone. Puppet men in a relationship of constant contradiction.

You may or may not have noticed, but I have a deep weakness for characters who spend most of their time insulting each other. And these two have been mine for a very long time now, so I am rather fond.

But, but it's fun having those sorts of characters. It keeps life interesting. I would attempt to pet them but I'm rather scared of that quick sword arm of the King's. I will resort to 'awwwing' at a safe distance.

Hey, if you were immortal, you'd be a bit more careless about life too.

Actually, no, that's a blatant lie, the king was always that trigger-happy. ...Impalement-happy. Whatever.

I would imagine so. No point in being careful when you don't have to worry about little things like death. Unless it's something like Death Becomes Her.

It makes me wonder how he'd react if they did manage to stop the matches. I can't imagine he'd be pleased.

To be fair, the liar gets literally trigger happy when it comes to immortals, too. There's someone he knows whom he almost invariably greets with a bullet or seven.

Believe it or not, he would be. He may enjoy spectacle, but he strongly disagrees with some of the people called up to fight.

Edited 2010-07-18 09:23 (UTC)

Aww, they really are like peas in pod. I'm very curious about where they come from now.

Some but not all, interesting. But if the King would not be displeased, then someone would be. A someone we haven't seen?

Far away and long ago, of course! And once upon a time.

I can neither confirm nor deny that statement. But if the matches are stopped, there will be retribution.

With a not quite done yet but close, would be happily ever after that never was?

Refusing to confirm or deny is in fact a statement that stands alone quite well. In a place like that, it would be a sad day indeed if a plan was foiled and there was no retribution.

Let's just say that the liar had some very sharp words about exactly why the would-be happily-ever-after never came to be.

Well it's a messy business. Weber wasn't joking when he called the whole thing a pile-up of gambits.

Ooh, nasty business then. Was the liar a liar before all this or is it a domino effect that exacted a change?

Which means if the tower of cards comes tumbling down it will be a bit more than paper cuts that everyone has to deal with.

Oh, he was always a liar. That is part of how it went wrong. The liar can be honest only at the edges of him, and the king has never had very good peripheral vision.

Funny you mention 'the tower' and 'cards' in one sentence...

Edited 2010-07-18 10:03 (UTC)

So then it remains to question just what, if not everything, was lied about. What the King took as lies that were actual truths perhaps and would explain the liar's harsh words?

....You tease.

Edited 2010-07-18 10:14 (UTC)

Once upon a time, there was a king who was very lonely and very angry and very mad. And to appease his madness, the talented child of the king's right-hand advisor told him stories and used words to talk away the pain, and it worked, and the king became happy again. But one day, or one month, or one century, that teller of stories realized that this illusion of a happy ending fooled only the king. For the storyteller, it was a gold-covered prison, because you can't bullshit a bullshitter, and the storyteller knew it would be lies for as long as life endured. The storyteller was tired of lying. The storyteller wanted out. The storyteller ran.

And the king followed after.

Yes, yes I do.

A BEDTIME STORY!!! I mean...I loved that. So the king coveted the illusion and the storyteller despised it because it would never be. Very depressing, I really do love it.

Horrible. :p

Everything is better when told as a bedtime story, seriously. And as the entire thing is a play off of the 1001 Arabian Nights, it works. Basically, they're both idiots, and now they're stuck with each other for ever. It's what they get for being stupid.

Yes, but it's fun.

Hee, it does work. And, wow, that doesn't sound like any other muses that could possibly be named at all. Nope.

Now you're just being sadistic on top of everything.

I may or may not find something deeply hilarious about that sort of situation. Not that I'm a bad person or anything.

In light of my above statement, I can't reply to this.

Finding that hilarious doesn't make you a bad person but if it does then we are both in the same boat. Did you bring the oars?

Hm, I suppose the only thing left to do is retract my previous statement in order to keep you from enjoying this far too much.

But then that would make me a bit cruel, yes? What goes around and all...

does this make us mortal enemies? D:

Does being mortal enemies mean we can have epic hatesex? If so, yes.

Then I suppose that's a go for being enemies. ;)

Hurray! ;D

You'll have to make it a point to stomp on any flowers I send you or something. *nods*

All the better to make perfumes of their fragrance.

You could bottle it and name it Timeless Hate. You'd make millions.

That's a very good name for it. I like this plan.

It should incorporate pomegranates as well. Like in the design IT MAKES SENSE.

IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE and it can have that scent too. I love pomegranates. I made Kisha eat them once

Yesss(and circles). I have a pomegranate/apple body spray I adore actually. Ulterior motive?

Oh, cool!! And isn't there always?

For shame. ;)

I have no shame. I am a shameless hussy.

Honesty is appreciated but you shouldn't show all your cards or everyone will catch on!

It's my quadruple bluff. Which is a quintuple bluff. Oh I'm confusing myself.

I could help by stealing your pirate hat. Then everyone will look at my cards and not yours.

....but I like my hat. A lot. Like, I would kill for that hat. ---can I have another hat instead?

...what kind of hat would you like? Or we could concoct a different scheme.

Can I have, uhm, a panama hat? Those are cool.

Fair trade off!

A fedora would also work.

But then you need a whip. Unless you are already suitably equipped.

But of course!

Awesome :)

You'll have to make it a point to stomp on any flowers I send you or something. nods