"These deathmatches are simply fabulous!"

[realitymods]

It occurred to me that rather than trying to skilfully and deftly supply hints in the opening posts, I should do a stats-dump for the hosts of the events. As these two hosts probably won't be around for more than this plot, I shall put it here rather than adding them to the mod NPC list. So here are things your characters may or may not notice about the two weirdos sitting up in the Emperor's box playing Go Fish.

Incidentally, there wasn't going to be a 'gender' section, and then Kisha made a bad joke.

INDIVIDUAL STATS

» TITLE: The King
» AGE: He stopped ageing somewhere in his thirties
» GENDER: A Man's Man. The Man your Man could be.
» LANGUAGE: Something that a linguist might assume to be vaguely one of the Semetic languages, though of course the machine translates.
» BUILD: Really Rather Big. We're talking Rider-sized here, seven feet tall and with the muscle to back it up. HE CAN CRUSH CARS WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Or maybe not. But he looks like he could. 'Big'un' is probably the most apt description ever given to him. He could sell Old Spice, and that's what matters.
» EYES: Dark brown
» HAIR: Black, long and wispy, goes down to about his elbows. It's soft and pretty! I want to run my hands through his hair, and I'm just the sound of your thoughts turning symbolic representations of words into sounds then translated into meaning. Maybe the king can be in a L'Oréal commercial when he's done selling Old Spice.
» CLOTHING: Royal and combat-ready, though not armoured. Robes of black sable fur and gold threading, bound with a gold and black sash in his family’s traditional pattern, breeches, thick boots.
» JEWELLERY: Gold, gold, and more gold. Gold rings, gold bracelets, gold necklaces. And he tends to set his jewellery with fire opals, but the gold is what matters.
» WEAPONRY: An old sword with a jewelled pommel, kept openly at his side (all the better for an impromptu beheading), and a deck deck of Tarot cards in a gold case.
» DEMEANOUR: That callous, cold, self-assured arrogance of a born warrior king.


» TITLE: The Liar
» AGE: He stopped ageing somewhere in his late twenties
» GENDER: Faaaaaaabulous
» LANGUAGE: He'll speak the same language as the King by default, but if alone with someone else, he will generally speak whatever language they are using in whatever dialect is most prestigious in their place and time period. Except his Japanese. He always uses a Kyoto accent when speaking Japanese.
» BUILD: Acrobatic. He is meant for tricks of movement and not shows of strength.
» EYES: Green.
» HAIR: Blond, cut around his head. Touch it and you die.
» CLOTHING: Half of his clothing seems to have been stolen from Lord Byron, and the other half looks like it came with a complimentary sarcastic comment from Oscar Wilde. Possibly some of it was surreptitiously removed from the set of Granada's Sherlock Holmes. Black frock coat, black boots, assorted black hats, white shirt, white silk cravat. He covers up well; his neck his never visible and he is almost always wearing gloves, so for the most part, his face is the only skin he shows.
» JEWELLERY: Gold and lots of it. Gold rings, gold bracelets hidden under the sleeves of his shirt, a single gold earring (emergency supplies), and gold cufflinks for those awesome barrel cuffs. Or maybe it's barrel cuffs for the sake of having gold cufflinks.
» WEAPONRY: A black Russian revolver (which means seven bullets, so no punks will ever feel lucky when facing him) hidden away inside his jacket, and a deck of Tarot cards in a gold case.
» DEMEANOUR: Playful, theatrical, as hard to hold as a smooth glass pane, and always smiling.


SHARED STATS

» PSIONIC ABILITIES: Unbreakable telepathic shields for thoughts and emotions.
» COMPOSITION: Not what it looks or feels like. To break it down, their hair is made of string, their skin is made of clay, their blood is mercury, their bones are ivory, their hearts are stone, and their eyes are precious stones like pearl and emerald. This only becomes apparent when the material leaves their bodies. Spilled blood will be obviously mercury, a severed limb will be ivory and clay, and if you tear out one of their eyes, you'll have something to put in that engagement ring.
» MAGIC: Despite their fluent use of magic, there is no inherent magic in either of them. However, those with the sense for it could sense they have been influenced by a God.
» MACHINE CONNECTION: To those who can sense it, they are completely foreign to the Machine.

Comments

[bit_impossible]

Dude wait a second, HE'S the one Ten spoke to??

[semantics]

...I thought you knew. I'm so sorry.

[melissa-228.livejournal.com]

Take me now, King. I swoooon~

[semantics]

[tsunderes.livejournal.com]

this post

[tsunderes.livejournal.com]

IS BEAUTIFUL

[astronomia]

IT WAS A VERY GOOD JOKE.

[semantics]

It was a bad joke.

[tomoyoichijouji.livejournal.com]

"their hearts are"...? (sorry, me and my anal-retentive typo proofreading)

[semantics]

No sorries, that was me being dumb when I edited that section to pluralize it. Hearts of stone!

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

...No wonder Damon and Weber get along so fabulously. I mean um.

[semantics]

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous!

[nodoff.livejournal.com]

The joke to the next level. (http://oldspicevoicemail.com/)

[semantics]

...That was beautiful. Suddenly, I want a character who would use their for their voicemail.

[tsunderes.livejournal.com]

/SCREAMS
/makes cell phone's voicemail

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

...wait, so Weber is Eight?

[semantics]

If Eight had the exact opposite of amnesia.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

I think they should have a Cheshire cat.

[semantics]

They do and they call him Kolya.

[swanseer.livejournal.com]

I can imagine Cally going to confront them and ending up stroking the king's hair and going "THIS IS SO LOVELY FOR A EVIL PERSON; TELL ME YOUR SECRETS SO I CAN USE THEM ON THE POSSUMS!"

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

/attaches self to

[semantics]

rjhkkjhfsdsdfghj,hgfdsfbnmnbv

HE USES SHAMPOO ONCE DAILY AND NEVER GOES OUT IN HARSH WEATHER.

Also, hello I am lazy

[lamb_of_gold]

Re: Also, hello I am lazy

[semantics]

Aww, Cmak! I love it, laziness and all.

*is a ninja*

[passionstorm.livejournal.com]

...oh my. But they are very, very interesting.

*is a pirate*

[semantics]

What I didn't put on the stats sheet is that the king has a crippling weakness for flowers and cute animals, while the liar has maintained a diet of coffee, instant noodles, and pomegranates for the past few millennia.